On any given day, starting at 5am when the sun has not yet shown its stunning face and some nights ending at 8pm when most households are winding down for the night – women from all walks of life, different backgrounds, a hilarious variety of personalities, professional women, mothers of all ages and all different fitness levels – grace the space that I revere as sacred, a space that does not judge, a space that provides hope and a space that strives to nurture every woman’s individually defined full potential. That space is a small, private strength training studio in Frisco, TX called Define.
As I write this, I have four extremely active kids (two are my own) running around the upstairs of my house like a bunch of animals let loose in the wild. It is summer vacation and the Texas heat restricts any parent’s chance of a quiet day at home. These days test my patience as a mother and I replay what I tell clients all day long in my head – “deep breaths… inhale and slowly exhale”.
It is THE reason for our studio’s existence: the middle aged woman striving to thrive in the chaotic life that has become hers.
The early morning alarm goes off for this woman and it begins: Coffee is poured and the mundane tasks of preparing lunches, packing backpacks and somehow getting herself and her kids ready for the day within a strict timeline starts. Carpool drop-offs, then off to either drive to an in office job battling the ridiculous DFW traffic or to home to log on for a day’s worth of meetings, video calls, and the multiplying work demands. Then comes the afternoon school pick-ups for some, or the never ending meetings which spill into the evening for others. The evenings continue with kids’ practices, more Uber-ing of said kids from one end of town to the other with one thought that’s been weighing on her all day… what IS for dinner?? Healthy choices or quick choices are made depending on how long, exhausting, mentally and emotionally draining this day has been. Whatever the choice ends up being, the night seems to now be heading to calm, but wait… the dishes, the showers, the sleep routines, all taking up time and space from the woman who wanted to end the night with a long skincare routine or a good book to wind down with. When everyone else is taken care of, she goes to set yet another early morning alarm and realizes, time might not be on her side for any of that today. Maybe tomorrow.
You need not be a mom nor a working professional or you may have a lot of help or have little to no help – to understand the gist of the hectic day that is the life of most middle aged women these days. This description of one day does not even take into account the overwhelming emotional and mental strain of being an adult. Add to that the giant pressure on us, especially as women, to be physically thriving. Society’s ideas and cliches are so easily attached to the slow decline of a middle aged woman’s appearance along with the very real and urgent attention which has to be paid to your general health as real diseases and chronic issues start to creep up all around us. It is exhausting. And it is the primary reason many women choose to take care of the most pressing and most immediate needs – our kids and our jobs. A person who is not in immediate danger of a health crisis is more likely to not pay attention to it, especially not women.
To drill into you the idea of taking time for yourself as a busy woman or reiterating the very tangible effects of incorporating an exercise routine in your day would be undermining your intelligence so I won’t waste your time with any of that.
Let me play to your intelligence as a woman to shift your perspective a bit: your kids will grow up, your job will continue to either challenge you or stress you out – or both, but what you will miss out on while you are putting your max effort in these areas is the fact that all these other people and things in your life might not matter much if you do not work to fully actualize your true physical potential in this life. I do not mean being society’s definition of a skinny woman or a sexy woman or an ideal body type. I believe that our bodies are an actual representation of the love and respect we have for ourselves and our precious time in this life. Sure, beautiful kind kids and a nice salary are obvious things to be so very proud of in our lives, but if you are an ambitious woman who wants to achieve success you can fully boast of – a physical representation of your time, effort, hard work, resilience, failures & then found successes, is a true visual flex of how hard you have worked in this life, despite your age or life stages.
In isolation, being “fit” is not success. However, compounded with kind kids, a successful career, a loving family, being healthy and physically strong is something which the majority of the middle aged population cannot boast. Yes life happens – for everyone. Kids, careers, medical issues, depression, pandemics, injuries, family drama – it happens for everyone.
The reason for the founding of Define was not because I have always been a glowing representation of this physical strength – in fact, quite the opposite. I have struggled with my own share of life’s pressures, failures, downs, and doubt. Those culminated in me wanting to create a space where it was safe for women, just like me, to work together to be better.
Define came to life to give women a space to fully define who they want to be. The space is safe for women to normalize being strong, in body and mind. The space is for women to understand that their health should be the #1 priority in their life because without it, the kids and the careers won’t survive and definitely not thrive. The space is for women to try every single day to be the absolute best version of themselves. The space, the weights, the machines, the equipment, your trainer, are all vehicles to help you become the woman you once were, the woman you get influenced by on social media but never dare to think it could be you, to help you see that you’ve been that woman all along, but life got in the way.
So, let’s amend that day in the life of, just a tad bit. Let’s insert a 50 minute workout at Define, 3x a week – anytime between 5am and 8pm – that is ONLY 3 hours of your week. A 3 hour change in your week could exponentially increase the love and respect you feel for yourself and for your ability to take on a chaotic day.
Define is a space to make you the successful woman you’ve always dreamt of being – a bold fighter striving to better herself every single day so she can then go be a present and active mother or grandmother, an executive who can sit in a room full of people setting a new standard of achievement and success, and most importantly, a woman who is proud to be the strongest version of herself. I believe that is genuine, lifelong, look back at your life and be so damn proud of yourself, kind of real success.